“In the southern part of Africa, lived a farmer named Alfred. He is happy and contained in his work. One day an alchemist visited and told him about the finest gold in the world and the power it beholds. He told him the location of each ingredient and after getting it, he can make the finest gold in the world. After hearing this, the farmer became unhappy and could not sleep that night. He plans to pursue it. He leaves his home, family, sold his property and started the journey. He visited every location and collected all the necessary ingredients for it. It was a hard-tiring journey of 15 years. He came back to the alchemist with excitement and with the belief that he will be a powerful and respected person. It takes 20 days and the precious gold is ready. The farmer kept it in his wall and people all over the world visited his home to see then precious metal. It looks mesmerizing. With time the farmer discovers that the metal lost its color and turned white. He and the alchemist were puzzled. The alchemist calls other professionals from all over the world to investigate the matter. After some days it was found that what they produced was not gold but a piece of iron with gold coating in it, which is valueless.”

Many of us can relate to this story. We desired something to be gold but it turned out to be valueless. “Grass is always greener from another side of the fence” holds true. The millennials are the first generation of their family to complete formal education, for many, they are the first to get a formal job, travel to cities and counties, the first generation to pursue entrepreneurship, and the first generation who has the liberty to pursue their passion and make it their profession. 

But recent studies show that millennials are the most anxious and depressed generation in history. The big question is why? after having an education, worked so hard to come where we are now, we are all anxious, depressed, and in dilemma. Unable to make a decision for ourselves. The purpose of our education system is to liberate us from fears but the opposite is true. From my personal observation, I tried to decode a few reasons behind it.

Have you ever been scolded for being not good at something? not good in class? Being compared with toppers, not good at math as compared with your friends. Comparison is deeply embedded in our Indian society. Society compares us with others and then judge us how good we are as compared to others. But society is built with cooperation, not with competition. Human species is the most advanced spices in the world because of the ability to cooperate. We compare everything from bikes to brands to companies we work into how much money we earn that defines our success. It feels good when we are on the good side of comparison and it is good for a few people, for others it’s a nightmare. It is a nightmare if you are no the comparison it feels so empty to face it. It drains all our self-confidence and self-esteem.  If we evaluate this pragmatically this is a race we can never win. There will always be someone who is better than us in many aspects the compression matrix isn’t real because every bodied life is unique and can't be compared. You are not a material to be compared to its materialistic way of living a life. What is the point of comparing Volvo cars with Rolls Royce? One is the safest car in the world and one is a luxurious car in the world. Both can't be compared.   

Our happiness depended on external validation. Someone else must tell us how good we are at our work. If you are studying engineering, medical, law you are talented otherwise you are not. If you are able to crack government job then you bare being appreciated otherwise you are a looser. But again this mechanism works for few for others it’s a struggle. If we let others decide what we should do then we can never bring happiness and prosperity into our lives. Everyone desires a good life and who doesn’t like to be appreciated but that’s not the only way to lead our life. External validation or other opinions about is limited to a shallow understanding of that person. If we build our decision-making system on the basis of other's views of our life then we can never create a meaning full life.

The most exciting thing I observed is, Our generation is entitled to fixed outcomes of our action. If it doesn’t come then the way we want, we feel depressed. Which is quite fascinating. Everyone desired fixed outcomes. Who wouldn’t love to know the future? It comes from the way we grew up. From our childhood society wants us to produce the desired outcomes or else we are blamed, criticized, or face humiliation. If you can crack a govt job or a job in a respectful company you are celebrated, otherwise termed as incompetent. But it is not the reality it only exists in our imagination. Nothing is certain in this world except change. Change is the only constant. But we want fixed results in a fast-changing world. This perspective towards life is creating a tremendous amount of anxiety and depression. We can only work and hope for a good result. 

In the 21st century social media works as a fuel to the fire. In social media nobody shows their bad stories, everyone uploads their best picture, best stories which are not true in real life. Real-world is different, full of bad experiences and failures. In the process of showing our best pictures of the world we forgot to live a good life. 

In addition, we need to stop being hard on ourselves. We are trying very hard to control things we can’t control. Don’t blame yourself for not producing desired results. It's ok to fail, to not know something is ok, you are no Ironman or Batman with superpowers, its ok not to be a hero.

The best way is to embrace the beauty of imperfection and find different ways to measure our success in terms of personal satisfaction, happiness, and quality of life.

- Sangram Panda